Intro: I once happened to mention to a millennial friend that I tended to avoid arts circles and discussion groups with the word ‘queer’ in the title. Not because it offended me but because I noticed that these events tended to be steeped in the organisers’ own unearened sense of self-importance. and mostly, weren't very good. His response was “Queer – own the word!” This is what I wrote back to him. Although it might seem angry, it was meant with love and humour.