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They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I'd argue for a two-night lag.

To start there's the London to Brighton drive accompanied by Leonard Cohen rather than Beyoncé,

Then there's the strutting around a sauna with all eyes on me instead of you.

There's the supper of Carrots a la Creme and of course there's listening to R4 all night ON A SPEAKER rather than strangling myself on my headphone cable.

But then comes that point in the night when I'm full of these loud, drunken opinions on my new found freedoms and there's no-one to prod me in the belly, laugh and point out I'm being a dick.

And that makes me feel sad and meaningless. ‪


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